no limit

I am going to run the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013.

It’s kind of fun to write that.  I think I’ll do it again.

I am going to run the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013.

I know that I qualified back in March at the Rock n’  Roll USA Marathon with a 3:34:46, but if I’m being honest here, the truth is I’m still awe-struck by the fact that I did that.  I do not know how many times I have said this sentence: Maybe, when I’m in my 60s or 70s, if I don’t slow down, I can qualify for Boston.  It was a pie-in-the-sky thing for me.  A dream, yes, but it was sort of almost a dream I laughed at myself for having.  It was a dream I didn’t believe in.  Something I didn’t realistically even see myself trying to achieve.  But a little over a year ago that changed for me.  I got curious about the depths of my capabilities.  I found courage and I became determined.  I broke out of the box I’d been putting myself in and I decided to test my limits.  I decided to DREAM and to believe in the beauty of my own dreams.  And I decided to work hard for them.  And now, here I am, all signed up for this race and just oh-so, ever-so grateful for this opportunity.  I will run my heart out on that day.

I WILL.

When I ran my qualifying time in March, I was elated.  So happy because I had done this thing that at one point I truly never thought I COULD do.  It wasn’t really **about Boston** so much as it was about the dream that Boston represented, and all it took to get there.  I knew that my time might not even be fast enough to get me accepted in the race (the registration system works in such a way that people with the faster qualifying times are given entry first).  But I told myself not to worry about that.  I had done my very best and I had qualified, and if I was meant to run Boston in 2013 then I would.  And if I wasn’t, well, then I would still be so proud.  And I would be running it 2014.  Because my dreams didn’t stop at 3:34 or BQ’ing for the first time.  That was truthfully only the beginning.  It was a defining moment for me because it showed me that I should never set limits on my dreams or on what I think I’m capable of.  I would keep an open heart and I would work hard and I would be smart and dedicated.

And now here I am, a little more than 5 weeks away from my 10th marathon with my sights set on a new personal record and plans for my 11th marathon already lined up.  Boston, here I come.

I’m dreaming bigger – and working harder – than ever before.  And I’m having the time of my life.

NEVER SAY NEVER.

 
1st Marathon. Philly 2000. 5:21:20.
9th Marathon. RnR USA 2012. 3:34:46

looking back

This morning I dug back into the archives of my blog, and pulled up the posts from exactly one year ago.  As I read through them, tears literally filled my eyes.  Tears of gratitude, tears of amazement, tears of joy.

I have come a long way.  No matter what the outcome is of my race on Saturday, I have a lot to be proud of, and so much to be thankful for.

This week one year ago, I was 6 weeks postpartum and every attempt to run was a fight.  Every run left me feeling achy and wiped out.  My SI joint was out of whack, my hips and my tailbone hurt day and night.  I was tired.  My core muscles were stretched out and weakened.  I was scared, yet determined.  I believed that as long as I was smart and listened to my body, as long as I took my time and was patient with myself, I would be able to run pain-free and happily again.   It was not easy.  Here are a few of my favorite quotes from these posts:

I am going to go back to the basics, start from square one, with my training.  I am going to be POSITIVE and believe in myself and be patient on this journey.  This experience will make me stronger in more ways than one.  I am going to reclaim my body – my strength – my fitness.

In my experience the best, most wonderful things in life don’t ever seem to come without hard work.  A little (ok sometimes a lot) of pain.  Sacrifice.  So I will hold my head up high, not give up – not ever – and I will believe in myself.  I will trust that there is a reason for the struggle and that it will all be worth it.

I am not a quitter and I am not alone.  I will give this the good fight and be stronger because of it!!!  I WILL NEVER QUIT. 

Here is something that I know for sure.  Becoming a runner is HARD.  Whether you are just getting started or are getting back into it after pregnancy, an injury or time off for whatever reason.  It is hard.  But if we do not give up, if we believe in ourselves and if we are patient, if we listen to our bodies and keep at it, WONDERFUL things can happen.  We will awaken amazing things within us.  We will discover so much about ourselves and what we are capable of.  It will be more than we ever would have dared to dream.

Do not give up on your dreams, in running or in life.  Do not put a limit on what your potential is.  Take it one day at a time, and be open to all of the possibilities.  Have the courage to keep going, and know that you are not alone.  Watch your story unfold.

If you are interested in reading some of these archives, go back to March of 2011.  Here are a few links to some of my favorite posts:

A Plan
Go Girl
NVR QWT

capability

If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
– Thomas Edison
Over the course of the last several months, I have been literally astounded by all that my body is capable of.  As I pushed through the self doubt, listened to my body and followed my heart, my strength and my courage grew.  I began to dream.  I got faster.  Paces which used to be super fast for me, became my comfort zone.
One year ago if you had told me that I would be training to qualify for the Boston Marathon with a sub-3:40 marathon time, and that it would be well within my reach, I am certain that I would not have believed you.
Not even for a second.  
I was a 4:35 marathoner who believed that I had a 4:00 marathon in me, and I was also 9 months pregnant with my third baby one year ago.  My hopes and dreams then, as far as running goes, were to regain my fitness, figure out how to balance it all with three young children, and strive for a 4:00 marathon finish.
It was the essence of my belief in myself though, the conviction that I had more in me – that I could push past my limits, that I could realize the truth of my full potential, that I was responsible for defining myself as a runner – that kept me moving forward, and still does.  My belief and passion have woken me up to all that I am capable of.  I have learned to never give up, to trust that there is always room for growth and for improvement.

Whether it’s in my running, or in any aspect of my life and my character – I want to be the best ME that I can be.  I want to know what I am capable of.

I want to continue to be astounded.

a new PR and the power of positive thinking

I have a story to tell.  I’m not sure where to begin.  Do I start with 6 months ago when my baby was 4 weeks old and I ran my first mile postpartum?  Do I retell how I fought so hard to regain my strength and courage to get out there and run, despite my out of whack SI joint, awful hip and back pain, a tail bone that hurt in the middle of the night, my incredibly weak pelvic floor, etc?

It has not been easy, but it has been so worth it.

Since my third baby was born 7 months ago, I have set a new PR in every race I have run except for the first one which I ran when he was 10 weeks old (and I was not out there to race at all – just to cover 10 miles on my 35th birthday).   I am living proof that hard work, determination and belief in oneself makes a difference.  That the only limits to what we can achieve are those we place on ourselves.

Yesterday I ran a marathon and I set a new PR by just over 25 minutes.  I only signed up for it a week ago.  It wasn’t on my training schedule to do it but I got the idea that maybe I could run a BQ time for the 2012 race before the deadline.  I was ready and I was sure I could do it.

So, with less than a week to go, the closest race I could find  (the Lehigh Valley Marathon in Allentown, PA) was a 4 hour drive away and registration was closed.  I emailed the race director and tweeted Bart Yasso (who created this race) and was amazed that within a few short hours I had a bib number and was going to be running this marathon.  I was so excited.  I was dreaming big.  Last week can only be described as insane for me.  I ran a race on Sunday (the VA Beach half marathon) and PR’d by more than 13 minutes.  I rested like CRAZY during the week only running a handful of miles.  My daughter started first grade, we had a wild amount of rainfall and then by Friday two of my three kids had a bad cold.  Guess who came down with the cold on Saturday?  Yep, ME.  I did my best not to worry about that though.

Saturday morning my husband Robert (a.k.a, the most amazing man in the world) and I drove the two big kids to my mom’s house where they would stay for the weekend.  I filled several bottles with water and nuun and hydrated like it was nobody’s business on the 4 hour car ride.  By day’s end I drank more than 150 ounces of fluid.  I wanted to do an extra-good job with hydration because of my cold. 

even baby G is a fan of nuun (the bottle, anyway)!

The car ride was lovely and peaceful.  I slept when the baby slept and we made it to the expo before it closed at 5pm.  I was calm and felt incredibly ready for this race, despite a week of major emotional ups and downs.  Self doubt was washed away and I was feeling so grateful and excited.

This was a very small race with just over 900 marathoners.  There was also a marathon relay going on and a half marathon too.  The expo was teeny-tiny but the vibe was great.  This area of PA is so beautiful and picturesque.  The expo took place at the old Bethlehem Steel Stacks which have been converted into a place for the arts.  It was *oh so very cool* in my opinion, that they could take this huge steel mill and turn it into such a wonderful place for the community.  I loved it.

old steel stacks

We didn’t stay at the expo too long because we had to get checked into our hotel and get to dinner before it got too late for me and baby Gus to eat.  But I have to tell you this – being away with my amazing husband and my cute baby was such a gift.  I couldn’t believe this was all happening.  My husband is so supportive of my running and of me and I am so grateful to him for believing in me and for giving me this amazing experience.  As I type this, I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.  I love that man so much.

handsome husband + cute baby = happy me

The hotel we stayed in was excellent, about 10 minutes from the race start.  There was even an Italian restaurant next door so after checking in we walked over there and had dinner.  I ordered a very plain pasta dish with steamed broccoli and spinach.  I tried to keep it as simple as I could and wanted to eat at least 12 hours before race start to avoid stomach issues.

After dinner we went back to the hotel and got the baby settled in for sleep.  This was maybe 7:30PM so for the next 2 hours I got my things together for race morning, we played cards and then got some sleep.  I had a pretty decent sleep despite pressure in my sinuses and a clogged nose due to my cold.  Gus woke up around 3:00AM and I nursed him back to sleep pretty easily.  My alarm woke me up at 4:45 and I began to get ready for the race.  Robert had gotten me a cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts the night before and I put it in the fridge of my hotel room so I just microwaved it when I woke up.  All my stuff was all laid out from the night before so I didn’t have to worry I was forgetting anything.

everything I need to be ready to race

Robert and Gus got ready too, I nursed the baby and we headed to the race start around 6:15AM.  I was feeling really strong, confident and ready to race – except for one thing.  My stomach didn’t feel right.  I waited in line for the porta-potties for a long while and when it was my turn (5 minutes before the start!) I just couldn’t seem to make my stomach feel better.  I knew going into this race that I would more than likely have to stop at some point to deal with my stomach.  But it was go time so I headed to the start and tried to put it out of my head.

ready at the start

When I crossed the start line I hit start on my Garmin, but about 3/4 of the way through the first mile I realized it had not started.  I didn’t let it bother me and just clicked start at that point and knew my distance and time were going to be off a bit.  My pace was really the most important thing to me anyway so I didn’t feel worried or too annoyed.

I was aiming for a sub-3:40.  My plan was to do the first half of the race in 8:35 and the second have in 8:00 miles.  I did the first two miles closer to an 8:00 pace but was right on track by mile 3 and felt incredibly strong and comfortable.  My stomach felt full but wasn’t bothering me one bit.  I ate my gel at mile 5 and again at mile 11.  I drank water from my hand held consistently.

This course is SO beautiful!  They had to change the first 5 miles and the last 3 miles because of all the rainfall last week, but it was a gorgeous route.  Much of it was on a lovely tow path with the river on one side and a creek on the left.  Some of it we ran through the woods.  Some of it on paved bike trails.  It was very hilly – mostly rolling hills but a couple of quite massive doozies (especially mile 24).  It was the most beautiful marathon course I have ever run.

I was feeling so strong and steady and then, like a ton of bricks, my stomach could hold out no longer.  I knew I was in trouble and started looking for a spot to “pull over” along the trail so I could take care of my tummy troubles but there was literally no place to stop.  There were woods on my right (between the path and the river) but no openings in them for me to duck into.  I knew I was coming up on the end of mile 17 where there would be an “exchange station” as they called them.  There were 5 of these stations along the route and at each one there were about 4 porta-potties.  In my opinion, as someone who was suffering from stomach troubles, this was not sufficient!  These stations were where the relay runners changed up and they were extremely crowded with spectators and relay runners – many who were planning to use the bathroom.  When I approached this spot I saw Robert for the first (and only) time along the course.  I was so happy to see him but I was in trouble – I was now in “stomach emergency mode” and needed a bathroom NOW.  There was a huge line and I could not wait, so I ran behind the potties to take care of it.  It was awful.  I was so uncomfortable.  My stomach has never been so upset during a race.

approaching the potties, trying to smile

After I was done I felt a lot better and Robert gave me a big hug.  He said “You are doing awesome, babe!  Right on pace.  I’m so proud of you!” and I smiled and told him I was feeling so strong and that up until now I was having zero issues.  I had to go though!  I had a race to finish!!  I zipped back onto the trail and for the next two miles I was cruising along at my planned pace.  But just before Mile 20, it happened again.  And again, there was no place to stop.  I was so frustrated.  It was so bad that if I ran, I was sure I would have a serious accident (and later Robert told me he saw someone who actually did just that – she ran covered in her own excrement – I was not going to do that, sorry!).  So I slowed down and then found myself walking just to calm my stomach down.  From that point on it was a run/walk combo.  I kept scanning the trail to stop, but for the life of me there were no stopping points for someone with my problem.  When I came up on the next exchange at Mile 22.6 the lines for the bathrooms were so ridiculously long that I just did not want to wait there.  I was jogging at that point and figured I knew no matter what that I would PR and that I would finish though would not get a BQ time.

It was hard for me mentally at first.  I was mad that my legs and my heart felt so strong, I felt so fit, yet my stomach was so upset that I could not run this race the way I wanted to.  I ran the first 20 miles on track to finish the race under 3:40 (averaging an 8:23 mile).  The last 6.2 miles took me more than 90 minutes to complete.  BUT I NEVER GAVE UP.  I was determined to not let negative thoughts get the best of me and ruin this day.  I was going to PR!  By a lot!  Despite how awful these last several miles were!!  I began to reflect on how I had gotten to this point, how strong I am and to dream of all the possibilities that lay ahead of me.  Even though I was walking a lot,  I wasn’t being defeated.  I was finishing this race faster than I had ever covered 26.2 miles before.  This was something to be proud of.

I was wearing a very special bracelet on my left wrist during this race.  It says one word on it: BELIEVE.  Throughout the race and especially in these final miles I glanced at it for reassurance and for the reminder of all that I am capable of and all the work I have done.  I looked at it and was reminded not only to BELIEVE in myself but also that there are many people in my life who BELIEVE in me.  I was doing this for me.  I was doing this for them.  I was also fighting to finish for anyone out there who ever doubted themselves or their capabilities because I want to show everyone that with BELIEF in oneself, we can accomplish things we would only dream of.  This bracelet is really special to me and I am going to do a post tomorrow all about it – and will be giving one away! – so if you like it please come back tomorrow to enter my giveaway.

enough said.

The last few miles were sheer survival.  I have never been so happy to see a finish line!  I crossed in 4:09:55 which is over 25 minutes faster than my previous PR of 4:35:09.  I am so proud and grateful.

I am also hopeful.  I know with 100% certainty that I’m capable of a much faster marathon and the one that I am training for, Marine Corps Marathon, is just 7 weeks away.  7 weeks!  I have a few more long runs to do and then taper time.  This time I will not be traveling so I can make sure I eat things that I am sure won’t upset my stomach.  I have time to figure things out and to get myself completely race ready.  Although I rested a lot last week, it was hardly a taper!!

wearing my hard-earned finishers medal

Today I’m feeling good.  My legs are sore but in all the right places.  My feet feel fine.  I’m not hobbling or struggling in any way and I feel ready to get back into my training plan.  I’m taking a rest day today and will resume my normal training tomorrow.

day after the marathon = happy

So, that is the story of my shiny new marathon PR and the fight I put up to get it!  I truly believe that the stomach issues I was having could have ruined the day for me had I let them, and that my determination to think positive is what got me through those last 6 miles yesterday.  There is no question about it.

How do you deal with race day not going the way you planned?  What are your mental strategies for staying positive?




Long Run Reflections

18 Miles.

Well, 18.26 miles actually.  I did it.  My longest run since having my baby 6 months ago and for sure the strongest long run of my life.  Ever.  I have never felt better on a long run and my spirits are still soaring from the experience.  I accomplished what I set out to do – a negative split, running the first half almost a minute per mile slower than the second half.  I want to train my legs, my body and my mind to be able to push and accelerate when things get rough.  It was perfect.  Looking at my splits reveals what I consider to be smart, strong training:

Mile 1: 9:24
Mile 2: 9:27
Mile 3: 9:38
Mile 4: 9:12
Mile 5: 9:20
Mile 6: 9:18
Mile 7: 9:26
Mile 8: 9:14
Mile 9: 9:32
Mile 10: 8:53
Mile 11: 8:42
Mile 12: 8:57
Mile 13: 8:49
Mile 14: 8:51
Mile 15: 8:45
Mile 16: 8:29
Mile 17: 8:33
Mile 18: 8:11

I ran for 2:45:02 and my average pace was 9:02/mile.  This run was also about practicing my nutrition and hydration.  My stomach is finicky and it has taken me a L O N G time to figure out the best fuel strategy before, during and after my long runs.  I eat a mostly vegan diet (occasionally I have fresh fish in the summer and occasionally I eat dairy but I always pay for that) so getting protein can be a struggle for me.  My meal the night before has to be plain and simple – Friday night it was pasta with a bit of fresh veggies and not too much of it.  I ate a banana in the morning about an hour before my run.  During my run I ate every 3 miles – at miles 3, 9 and 15 I ate one Power Gel Blast (raspberry flavor, yum).  At miles 6 and 12 I ate an Accel Gel (vanilla and chocolate respectively).  I drank water the whole time, keeping my hand held water bottle full, and also at mile 10 I had some sips of orange Gatorade at a water stop.  Stomach issues = ZERO.  Success!

When I finished this run, I felt like a million bucks and as though I could keep going.  I had a serious runner’s high and just felt so happy that I was able to push like that while still having quite a lot of energy in my tank.  There are so many factors that can make or break a long run and yesterday everything went perfectly even with crazy heat and humidity.  I will NOT forget this run.  When I’m running my marathon in a little over two months from now, I will dig back to this 18 miler for encouragement.  For a reminder to believe in myself.

Three months ago I was struggling … my lower back went out, my hips were “wonky,” my pelvic floor was weak.  Every single run left me feeling exhausted and sore.  My body was not doing what I wanted it to do and it was so frustrating because I was working so hard, trying to do all the right things to get stronger.  Yesterday I ran more than 18 STRONG miles and today I did another 4 to recover (at a 10:30 pace).  I am not hobbling around.  I am not achy or sore.  My heart is filled with gratitude and I believe I am stronger now than I have ever been in all of my life.

This week I hit a new mileage high of 42 miles.  It is a steady climb.  One foot in front of the other, I am on my way ….