Can I just say that it is really hard to begin a blog post when you haven’t written one for a couple of weeks?
I’m sitting here thinking … Where in the world do I start? What do I focus on?
Do I write a post about my amazing children and all that they have been up to? The adventures in parenting a seven year old daughter who thinks and acts as though she’s fourteen (God help me!) … a six year old son who is growing up before my very eyes – changing from baby to boy way faster than I am ready for him to … a two year old son who is moving SO fast both physically and mentally and keeping me on my toes like nothing I have ever EVER experienced before (he is way crazier than either his big sister or his big brother were at this age) …
I have my hands and my heart full with these three little monkeys. There is literally never a dull moment and rarely even a quiet one.
Or maybe I spend some time writing about my husband Robert, and the tremendous amount of courage I have been witnessing him muster over these last couple of months as he started a new job for the first time in over seven years, dealt with a pretty major health scare and was hospitalized (he is all better now, thank goodness), began an exercise program (running!) for the first time in a LONG time and completed his first 5k race.
He is taking himself on in a way I have never seen him do.
Maybe I should take some time to talk about my own journey, my own personal struggles for finding balance amongst all of the things that I care so deeply about. My family. My friends. My passions. My health. My commitments. And yes … my running.
Stepping away from my blog has sort of been a necessary and natural thing for me over these last couple of weeks, simply because the things listed above have just required a lot more of my attention and focus and energy. Life has been pretty bumpy lately. But I am afloat. Still standing. Still running. Though this week I’m taking a break from the speed work because I totally wiped out in the mud while on my trail run on Sunday and have a grouchy SI joint and slightly strained gluteal muscle as a result of my fall.
It happened in the blink of an eye. I was running a comfortable recovery pace, taking it easy. But I didn’t see the patch of mud and slid and fell pretty hard right down into it. I’ve seen Dr. Wong twice already this week and am going back again tomorrow afternoon to keep everything in check. I honestly consider myself pretty lucky that this isn’t worse than it is. Upon the advice of Dr. Wong (who I trust SO much), I am still running all of my miles this week, just taking it all super easy. I’m grateful it isn’t more serious because I know that it could always be worse.
In almost exactly two months I will be running my first ever Boston Marathon. My mileage is up there, close to 80 miles a week over the last few weeks, and before my fall my body was feeling amazing. I’ve been nailing my track workouts and tempo runs and executing my long runs better than ever this training cycle. And what’s even better is that I’m finally resolving my stomach issues and have found some nutrition options that appear to be working for me. Honey Stinger gels and Clif products do not appear to irritate my system like so many of the other things I have tried. This makes me feel a confidence I have never felt before with regards to my distance running. Marathon #12 might actually not include emergency trips to the port-o-potties! This is huge for me.
So far I haven’t set any time goals for myself for Boston and I’m honestly not sure that I will. I truly want to soak it all in, to ENJOY the amazing experience of running it for the first time and to just do my very best. In my heart, I know without a doubt that I have a faster marathon time in me and that there is a good – maybe even great – chance that I will rock a new personal best in Boston in April.
But right now all I can think about is how I want to run my heart out and love every second of being there. I want to be healthy and strong and aware and grateful on April 15th.
I want to be that way every day.
This week I have felt derailed because of my fall. It took me totally off guard and made me realize how quickly things can change. I don’t want to take a single thing in my life for granted. Or to be foolish or stubborn or impatient or negative. Life is just way to short, and far to fleeting, for that.
Moving forward. Head up. Heart open.