Fast Friday Thoughts

There is so much on my mind today that I don’t really know how to begin with this post.  Or how to put it all together in a way that ties it all up neatly.  I just don’t think that’s possible.  My mind is a bit of a mess, so this post I am sure will reflect that.  This is the “pace of me” … and today my pace is all over the place….

** Jodi **
Weighing heaviest on my heart is my sister Jodi.  She had her surgery about 10 days ago and recovery just hasn’t been moving along as we all had hoped or expected.  Yesterday was a nose dive of a day.  She had been feeling a lot of pain in her calf, in addition to swelling and discoloration in her lower leg.  Every time she stood up her lower leg turned dark purple and she felt nauseous and light headed and was in extreme pain.  She went to the doctor yesterday and then spent the majority of the afternoon in the ER and was diagnosed with a blood clot (also known as deep vein thrombosis or DVT).  I do not yet really understand all of the implications – but what I DO know is that we are very lucky it was caught when it was.  The biggest danger with these things is that the clot can dislodge and travel to the lungs, causing a pulmonary embolism — which can be fatal.

Thankfully she was sent home and does not have to deal with this in a hospital bed.  She will be giving herself injections of a blood thinner for the next week and will be seeing the doctor regularly to monitor it.  She cannot do her physical therapy until things improve (because movement like that could dislodge the clot), which could be months as far as I understand.  This will really slow down her recovery most likely and I do not know what it means long term for her.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I just broke down into tears.  It was hard for me to connect with all of my emotions.  I am SAD – sad for my sister that she is going through this.  It breaks my heart.  I am MAD – angry that this is happening to her.  I am also so THANKFUL – so incredibly grateful that things aren’t as bad as they could be given the situation.  Yesterday we were texting as she was going from the doctor to the ER and then home.  In between her messages I was trying so hard to hold myself together.  I was looking at my phone every few minutes, waiting for updates from her and her husband.  I felt helpless.  I had a meeting in the afternoon and was so distracted during it.  All I could think about was Jodi and hope she was okay.  I think finally, when the day was done and I knew she would be alright, that is when I just lost it.  Today I feel a little better, but still there is just this lump in my throat.  I am sad for her.  Please keep her in your prayers, if you don’t mind.

** A day off **
Today is my first rest day all week.  I told Robert last night that I wasn’t really feeling like I needed a break from running today, but that I was happy to not wake up at 5AM for once this week!  It is nice to “sleep in” until 6:00 at least every now and then!  All of my runs were so nice this week (mostly done with my buddies at sunrise) and I am really enjoying this break from marathon training.  I’m still amazed that I’m running 45-50 miles a week in the off season, and that my body has adapted so well to that.  Last year my peak weeks in marathon training were this high!  Official marathon training (for MCM) starts in a little over a month and I am so excited about it.  I will be training with the =PR= Distance Training Program (DTP) again.  I love that group and can’t wait to be back on the trails and at the track with everyone again.

** On a team **
I received a very exciting honor this week.  I have been selected to be on the =PR= Racing Team!  I still can’t believe it and am just so amazed to have this opportunity.  For a long time I have considered the people at =PR= my “running family” and I am just so excited to officially be on their team in this way.  Never in my life did I expect I would be on a real racing team and this is a dream come true for me.  My teammates are incredibly inspiring and I am just beyond honored to be among them!  You will be hearing a lot more about this, I am sure of it.

** Racing Day **
Tomorrow is Racing Day for me and I could not be more excited about it.  I will be running the We’ve Got Your Back 5k in Reston for the third year in a row.  I LOVE this race.  It is super close to my house, so I am going to run there as a warm up.  My husband and the kids will meet me there and after my race we will all do the 1k family fun run/walk.  The race does an incredible job with making this a wonderful event for the whole family.  I’m so excited that it worked out for us – Will’s tee ball game isn’t until 2pm tomorrow so we can ALL be there.  No juggling!!!  That makes me so so so happy.

When I ran this race two years ago I was pregnant with Gus and did not know it.  I had become a certified coach about a month earlier and was just beginning to really make changes to my running and see results.  I ran a new PR that year – finishing in 25:22.  I was BEYOND happy.  Then last year I ran it again at just about 3 months postpartum.  It was the first race that I really tried to push myself at since the baby was born.  When I crossed the finish line with a new PR in 24:52, I was so incredibly happy.  Since that day, I have made so many changes to my running and I have learned so much about myself in the process.  My current 5k PR is 21:18.  Tomorrow I am going to do my very best – give it ALL that I’ve got – and I hope to break 21 minutes for the first time.  I KNOW it is going to be harder than hard and that I am going to have to fight for it with every ounce of mental and physical strength I can muster.  I have butterflies in my tummy just thinking about it.  I am excited.  I love how races make me feel – whether it’s a local 5k or a huge marathon, I am pumped.  SO grateful and excited to show up and soak it up.

** Sometimes they DO get it **
Earlier this week I wrote a post about how my kids don’t get my love and dedication to things other than them (ie, running, Pilates, Sugar Cone).  I hang onto the hope that one day they will realize how important it is that I carve time out for myself to engage in my passions and interests.  That it makes me a better and stronger person, a happier and more capable mother.  Sometimes they are downright cranky and selfish about having to “share” me with my running and Pilates.  But then every now and then they do something that shows me that they are proud of me and that they think it is pretty cool.  They want to be a part of it and they see that they can be.  The other morning when I came home from a run with my buddies (“team honey badger” as we call ourselves), Abby was very excited because she had come up with an idea — she wants to put on a race for me and my buddies!  Right away she started making a flyer for the race.  We picked a date and a time and made copies of her flyer to distribute to my buddies.

Proud Race Director
expertly made race flyer

The race is called “The Honey Badger Playground Dash” and will start at our home and finish at her elementary school playground (which is possibly 1/4 of a mile from my house, if that).  How sweet and adorable is this?  Abby is a girl after my own heart – she loves to organize things, to draw and be crafty, and she loves to throw a party.  It is basically all she is talking about this week and I could not be more proud of her – or more thankful to her – for doing this.  It is things like this that tell me not to feel the guilt over running.  My children are learning there is JOY in caring for ourselves and engaging in things we are passionate about.  We are going to have a BLAST at the Honey Badger Playground Dash next weekend!  I can’t wait.

That about wraps up all the things that are taking up my brain space right now.  I wish that I had the time to dedicate individual posts to each one of these things right now, but sometimes that just isn’t possible!  I hope that everyone has a fantastic weekend.  And to all the moms – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!  I hope you’ll be doing something special, whether it’s taking a nap, spending time alone or filling the day with family — may you enjoy it and know how loved you truly are.

15 thoughts on “Fast Friday Thoughts

  1. Good luck tomorrow and HUGE congrats on the racing team. You are awesome!

    I am so sad and sorry about Jodi have a hard time and she is in my prayers. Big hugs!

  2. I love your daughter's race flyer! So cute! Congrats on the racing team as well! I hope your sister recovers well – she will be in my thoughts…

  3. So glad they caught Jodi's DVT in time!! How scary! I hope the clot dissolves ASAP. Abby's race for you all is so cute! Have you set a training goal for the Honey Badger Playground Dash? 🙂

  4. Awww what a sweet and creative little girl you have…I too have one of those at home, only she is 12 in July!!! Awesome and Congrats on the racing team girlie, that is so great! Will keep your sister in my prayers and thoughts…keep your head up sweetie! Oh and good luck on your 5k !

  5. I will be praying for your sister, I'm sure that is scary thing to go through but God loves you and her and He will save and heal her.
    Psalm 138:7-8 AMP-Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me. The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever–forsake not the works of Your own hands.
    Psalm 30:2 NIV-Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.
    Your daughter is a sweetie pie and looks like she will be organizing a road race some day 🙂
    Hope your race is great, you have been rocking your races lately so I'm sure this will be another PR in the bag! 🙂

  6. Love, my heart breaks with you for our sister. My heart excites with yours about the race team and your race tomorrow. And my heart joys seeing Abby, she is wonderful…a lot like you, you ate right.
    Why is it every time I read your blog I always have a tear, right there in the corner of my eye???
    I love you sister!

  7. seriously? your kids are awesome. Way to go Abby!!! wish I lived close enough to run the Playground Dash. Watch out. She is going to be a race director someday ( I guess she already is)! 🙂 Happy Mother's Day, Jess. You are an amazing mom.

  8. There's a lot of good news in here (congrats on the racing team), but the best part to me is your daughter's race idea. Happy Mothers' Day!

    I am absolutely praying for your sister. Absolutely.

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