in my heart

At about Mile 14 in the Marine Corps Marathon, I found myself repeating the beginning of one of my favorite poems by e.e. cummings over and over again.
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
Thoughts of my husband and children consumed me and lifted me.  The sacrifices they made so I could train for and race the marathon.  The early mornings waking to find that I was out for a run.  The long Saturday mornings of Robert being a single dad while I was out running for 3+ hours week after week after week.   The Wednesday nights at the track – gone for dinner, gone for bath time, gone for bedtime.
I love running, but nothing in this life is more important to me or loved more by me than my family.
My husband, who supports me and believes in me and fights for my happiness, my sanity and my courage with every ounce of his being.  I am beyond grateful.
My children.  More beautiful, pure and sweet than my most daring and imaginative dreams could ever conjure up.  LOVE.
I run for my family.  I carry them with me.  I carry them in my heart.
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

11 thoughts on “in my heart

  1. ee cummings is one of my favorites. We had one of his poems on our wedding cake. It goes like this:

    since feeling is first
    who pays any attention
    to the syntax of things
    will never wholly kiss you;

    wholly to be a fool
    while Spring is in the world

    my blood approves,
    and kisses are a far better fate
    than wisdom
    lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
    –the best gesture of my brain is less than
    your eyelids' flutter which says

    we are for eachother: then
    laugh, leaning back in my arms
    for life's not a paragraph

    And death i think is no parenthesis

    Happy Valentines' Day, Jess!

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