dividing the time

Sometimes I feel like I have to divide myself up into little pieces for each of the people that I love.  A piece for Abby, for Will, for Gus and for Robert.  I don’t want to give them just a part of me, though – I want to be able to offer my whole self to each of them individually and to also be fully present when we are together as a family.  I can get overwhelmed by this and frequently (on a daily basis, basically) I do.  We have a busy life and so many balls are in the air.  Running really helps me press an internal reset button – to clear my head and quiet my thoughts.  It puts all my “pieces” back together and allows me to focus on what is most important, to let go and simplify things.

At this moment in my life running is my medicine, my healing, my prayer, my lifeline.

Today was my rest day and while I know my muscles needed it, my mental and emotional state really could have used a good sweat.  I felt off-kilter and emotionally weird all day long.  I needed a run.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s run – my plan is to push the boys in the double stroller during the baby’s morning nap.  I checked the weather and it will be a beautiful morning for a run.  I talked to Will about it and told him I want to try for 8 miles (another double stroller distance PR).  He said “Good for you, Mommy!” and made me feel proud.  He also told me he is excited to look for more grasshoppers and maybe a bunny or a turtle on our run.  I will get my “special time” with Will tomorrow, that’s for sure.  In the afternoon I’m volunteering in Abby’s art class without either of her brothers (Will will be at school and Gus will be with my sister).  I’m so thankful to be able to devote an hour of JUST ME to something for Abby tomorrow.  She is adorably excited and enthusiastic about the whole thing and to be honest, I can’t wait and have been looking forward to it all week.  I called a sitter today and am looking to plan some date nights with Robert.  We need that so much.  Sometimes I think it’s easy as parents for us to just get so caught up in taking care of our little people and giving them what they need that we forget to pay attention to ourselves and to one another.  Getting out of our routine and doing something – anything! – just the two of us is important beyond measure.

I know I talk a lot about the importance of making time for yourself, making the time to run, but it is also important to make the time for real, quality moments with your loved ones in the midst of the chaos of life.  Running helps me feel whole and restored so that I have the energy and focus to dedicate myself to my family and to other things that are important to me.  What about you?

4 thoughts on “dividing the time

  1. Good for you for making time for each member of your family, including yourself! It is so important!
    I feel like I'm in a good routine running/workout wise and w/spending quality time one on one with my kids. Where I need to better is w/my husband. He travels so much and things are so hectic when he's here, it's just hard. Not impossible I guess but certainly a challenge.

  2. I love that you are carving out the one-on-one time like that. Such a great way to go about it. I've found that in our family, my husband tends to do the one-on-one w/ my son, and me w/ my daughter. We just fall into that pattern. But–I do try to make an effort to switch that up 'cause I love the alone time with my son too!

  3. That is awesome! I could never get the hang of the stroller running. Right now, running is my 'me' thing… all about me 🙂 I do my best to spend special time w/ each of my kids and my husband. It certainly is a challenge and I think we all want more than we're getting, but it's all I can do for the time being 🙂
    You are doing a pretty incredible job!

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