I’m getting used to being the mom of three kids and each day new challenges are thrown at me. My confidence grows but the ease with which I handle things ebbs and flows … there are so many variables in any given day. I cannot let a temper tantrum, a nasty remark, an allergic reaction, a scrape on the knee, or whining derail my day. I literally cannot cry over spilled milk. I have to keep my head up high and deal with the task at hand because there are three little people that need me. Sometimes when things get crazy I want to put myself in a timeout rather than one of the kids. Go to my room and have some quiet time! This would be nice, but I know that’s not the responsible thing to do. When I feel that way I tell myself to take a deep breath, refocus and adjust. I will have my quiet time later – once everyone is in bed, or once I can get my run in, etc…but right now I need to be present for my kids.
Managing the moment is also something I’m thinking about as it relates to my running. Yesterday I pushed myself for a hard 5 miler on the treadmill at the gym. I was running a 7:18 mile (sooo much harder on the mill than on the track, I must say) for miles 3 and 4. Every time I found myself thinking this is hard and wanting to slow it down, I reminded myself to manage the moment. To stick with it. It will be time to slow down when it is time to slow down, and that is after these two miles are DONE. The funny thing is, that the more I said that to myself and the longer I stuck with it, the easier it got for me to maintain that pace. When those two miles were done I didn’t feel so much like I needed to slow down anymore. My body got used to it. I had adjusted.
The past is a valuable thing if you make it a positive place of reflection. If I am going to go there, I cannot put myself down (no should haves, could haves, why didn’t I’s, poor me’s…) I must observe it and be grateful for it. Learn from it. I don’t dwell there. I can be, however, quite obsessive about the future. I am a planner and a dreamer so I can get anxious about making things happen for me and my family down the road. This sometimes really irritates my husband – he worries that I dream too much and that I will be disappointed with the realities of life if they don’t match my dreams. I disagree with him (mostly) – I think being a dreamer is a good thing – but I know it can be dangerous for me if I lose sight of the NOW. Of THIS moment. So that is something I am working on. I have faith that if I focus on the now, on this moment, dreams will come true. I believe that if I come to the moment with good intentions and an open heart, things will work out. Maybe not exactly as I hope, but I believe chances are the result could be even better and bigger than I ever would have dreamed on my own. That is something I’ve learned from reflecting on my past. When I look at the way things have gone over the last 35 years of my life and the way things are woven together, there is no question that good things are in store for me. I just have to manage each moment, one at a time.