I think I have to face it…my running can hardly be called running anymore at this point in my pregnancy. I’m almost 35 weeks and I don’t even want to know how much weight I’ve gained. I’m sure I will be close to or maybe even over the 40 pound mark by the time my baby comes. I keep telling myself not to worry, that the weight is all going to come off and that I will feel light and free again when I run. But there is a part of me that is scared, that is worrying and wondering…
The last time I had a baby was over 4 years ago. I had just turned 30. Now I am close to 35. Things are different with my body. Even though I was possibly in the best shape of my adult life when I got pregnant this time, I am older. Not OLD, but OLDER. I’m getting these nasty looking purple veins all through my legs. In my ankles, up my calves, behind my knees and thighs. I try not to look but the other day on accident I caught site of my backside and gasped. I look like an old lady minus the wrinkles. This is a genetic thing…my mom has these veins and so did my oldest sister (she had laser surgery to correct them). I had yucky veins in my ankles when I was pregnant with my son but after he was born they went away. Maybe that will happen again this time? Maybe they will go away?? I can only hope…I must accept it though if they don’t.
What is it going to feel like – physically – after this baby is born? How long will it take before I can run – really RUN – again?
I’m not wishing these next 5 weeks away, I’m not. Feeling the baby move inside me is the most magical feeling. I love it. Buuuuuut, I am also really excited to not be carrying all this extra weight anymore. Getting off the couch is ridiculous. Carrying laundry up and down the stairs is a joke. Making all the beds in my house in the morning leaves me breathless. And to think that less than a year ago I was running marathons and 10 miles was “easy” … wowzah!!! The change has been gradual but drastic.
In my heart I know that after my baby is born I can – and will – make gradual changes again. Sure, it will take a lot of work, sacrifice and dedication. But it will be worth it.