the envelope

Today was my 20 week ultrasound!!  It was incredible.  The baby is just beautiful.  Healthy.  Strong.  AMAZING in every way.  I am so grateful that everything went well and that all measurements were normal and looking good.  What a relief and how terrific to be assured that everything is okay.

I found out the genders of both my daughter Abby and my son Will during my 20 week ultrasounds with them.  The first time around I really wanted to be surprised but my husband wanted to know so I agreed that we would find out.  The second time I just felt SO sure that Will was a boy and even though I wanted to know what it would feel like to be surprised in the delivery room, I wanted to know in advance because every bone in my body was telling me he was a boy and I just wanted to get used to the idea if he was actually a girl.  THIS time though…well this time I have no such “gut” feeling or if I do the next day it is completely different, and I really don’t have a preference or hope one way or the other – just want a healthy, happy baby.  My husband really really wants to know, but he is being the great guy that he is and will fight that urge if he has to.  So today we came up with a compromise and decided we would have the tech write the gender down on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope to be opened (or NOT) at a later time….
I really don’t want to open it!!  I mean, sure I want to know if my baby is a boy or a girl, but I would really like to hold out and know what those 2 seconds feel like when someone tells me “It’s a…!!” when that baby is born.  I just want to experience that.  Some people are on one side of the fence or the other (like my husband) but I am not.  I am on both sides – I get all the reasons why it makes complete sense to find out now.  I know it is a surprise no matter when or how you find out…but I just want to experience that.  SO for the next 20 weeks I have a sealed envelope in my house and it is up to me whether or not we open it!  Abby and Will are cool with it either way, so no pressure from them.  Robert says he will be quiet about it and may let me know how he feels every now and then…just to “check in” with me.  I know I will be tempted, but I am going to try to resist opening that envelope!!

1 thought on “the envelope

  1. This was our first, so I HAD to know. It's funny though, because my husband and I both felt like it was going to be a boy… and then they told us girl!
    Good luck with waiting, I would never be able to do that, if the envelope was sitting in my house!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.